Sanford Karate

I would like to start by wishing all of you and yours great happiness, excellent health and the best of fortune during the coming year!

This is the time when people make New Year’s resolutions in order to improve their life. Ben Franklin suggested we always be at war with our vises, at peace with our neighbors, and let each New Year find us a better person! Or, as Oprah Winfrey put it, “Cheers to a New Year and another chance to get it right.” Common resolutions people make include improving fitness, losing weight, quitting bad habits, enjoying life more, spending more time with family and friends, getting out of debt, helping others, getting organized and so on. Each of these can be an important step towards a healthier and happier you.

But if we are not careful, our New Year’s resolutions can easily go in one year and out the other! Once made, resolutions stay the same. “I’ll stop eating junk food.” “I’ll go to the gym three times a week.” Each resolution can represent a pretty big change in your life. Resolutions can tend to be rather rigid, and if we find one too difficult to stick to, we tend to forget it and drop it. Then it is easy to feel like a failure because we gave up.

So let me suggest that this year, instead of making resolutions, set goals. Goals set a direction towards which you head. And people with goals succeed because they know where they are going! Goals are different than resolutions. For example, say you want to become healthier, lose weight and get in better shape. So you make a resolution to join a gym and go there three times a week. But once you start going to the gym you find that you hate it. It will be very difficult to stick to your resolution and chances are you will drop it. Instead, let us say that you set as a personal goal to get more exercise. You write out a plan to take you, step by step towards the realization of this goal. Maybe one of the steps is to go to the gym three times a week. Then you find that you hate going to the gym. You do not have to throw out the goal of getting more exercise. Instead, you switch to a different plan for achieving your goal; for example, you might decide to walk along the beach each morning. You can change the path that will take you towards your goal, and step by step you can increase the difficulty as you become accustomed to the changes in your life, you will feel good about the accomplishments you are making, thus you will keep moving in the right direction. You will have a sense of accomplishment rather than a sense of failure. As one of my friends often says, “Inch by inch is a cinch. Yard by yard can be hard!” Goals are tackled in steps; they are more realistic for lasting change.

Goals We Set Are Goals We Get. Keep your future in mind. I have heard it said that most people spend more time planning their next vacation than they do the next year of their life. I suggest that you stop and think, “What would I have in my ideal life? Where would I like to be at the end of this year, in three years and 5 or even 10 years?” Put your thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams on paper. Complete a Wish List now, rather than later. This can be fun, and it will help you start thinking about goals that will move you in the direction of your dreams.

Think It… Ink It! Begin a Goals List for 2011. These are the goals you wish to achieve in the next 6 to 12 months. Later you can make a 3-year, 5 and even a 10-year list. But start with your list for this year. Goal Setting is such an essential and powerful tool for success. Experts agree the moment you take action on your dreams; you have begun the process of Goal Achievement. So the first action should always be to write your goals down on paper. Once you have your goals written down, keep them in the forefront of your mind. Review them at least once a week, if not daily. Keep them listed in your day-planner, have them as part of your screen saver, or post them in prominent places around your home.

See It – Believe It – Achieve It!

See It: Means you first create it in your mind. Close your eyes and see yourself having achieved your goal. Whatever it is. Create a mental picture, or a vision of your dreams and desires. By doing this, you are visualizing your success and achievement in advance. See yourself achieving your goal, NOW! Feel and experience the fantastic emotions of having achieved your goal. It’s a powerful exercise that is practiced by most great achievers in sports, business and the Martial Arts.

Believe It: Means you truly believe without any doubt that you are worthy of success. You must have total belief in yourself and your ability to attain your most important goals. Belief is a powerful tool for improving anything in your life. It will boost your confidence to take the necessary actions for high levels of success and achievement. If your mind can conceive it and you truly believe it, you will achieve it!

You might make up a positive phrase that you can recite to yourself, some examples are: ” I know I can do it.” ” I am reaching my success goals every day.” ” I am getting stronger and stronger every day.” ” Every day I am getting closer and closer to my goals in life.” “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” ” If I believe it, I can achieve it.”

Achieve It: Means you will stick to it until you do it. You will see things through until completion. Become an “A+” rated version of your best self. Set your sights on your goals and you will make this your best year ever. By practicing these valuable exercises and life skills, you will sharpen and condition your mind, body and spirit! To achieve your best, you must be willing to give your best. There are four short words that have lifted most people to success, are you ready for them? “A Little Bit More!” Most successful people got that way because they did what was expected of them, and then they did, “A Little Bit More!”

Any day you wish you can discipline yourself to change it all. Any day you wish; you can start the process of life change. You can do it now, or next week, or next month, or next year. Or, you can simply do nothing. It is your choice!

As you move towards your goals keep in mind that any worthwhile goal or achievement is going to have its share of obstacles and setbacks. Never allow setbacks and obstacles to get in the way of the excitement and energy that lead you to the goal in the first place. Always keep the goal in mind and the reason for its attainment must stay bigger than the obstacles. Keep a mindset that,” I can overcome any obstacle.” And remember what George Lucas said, “You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you’re doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurdle.”

I hope that you make 2011 your best year yet!

1. Words are valuable

Speak up: Your child is listening.

In families with two working parents, fathers have a greater impact on their child’s language development by age 3 than mother’s do, according to a study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Provide a creative, dramatic play-by-play of the activities you’re engaged in and your surroundings. Use big words, even if they’re unfamiliar to your kid. Children learn a lot bycontext.

2. Tantrums earn you nothing

“When your anxiety visibly rises, you add fuel to the fire.” says Hal Edward Runkel, a family therapist and the author of ScreamFree Parenting. And if you simply hand over a piece of candy, you encourage more bad behavior. Instead, when your kid starts shouting, be calm and attentive. Don’t ignore it. This signals that you will not be rattled and the child won’t win…ever. It may not work for the first tantrums, warns Runkel, but it’s magic by the fifth.

3. Healthy competition leads to confidence

Children as young as 4 start to compete with their parents – sprinting to the car, wrestling on the sofa, stuff like that. Roll with it. Let them win a lot, and then slowly ramp it up so they have to work harder for their victories. “It’s a way for kids to develop a sense of strength and lets them test their muscles,” says Justin Richardson, M.D., who teaches psychiatry at Columbia University. They’ll start to walk more confidently and be less of a mark for bullies.

4. Quitting is hard

When his son wanted to quit baseball at age 8, Runkel said to him, “Sure, but you have to tell your teammates and coach.” The boy couldn’t do it. He’s played for 7 years since. Show kids the pain of quitting, and they won’t make those kind of decisions lightly, Runkel says. “If your kid says a school project is too hard and the he/she wants to give up, that’s okay,” says Runkel. “But say, ‘Tell your teacher you’re quitting and that you’ll take whatever grade is appropriate.’ Trust me, they’ll stick it out.”

5. Other people’s feelings matter

It’s easier to connect with others if you understand their perspectives, so nurture that instinct in your child. Start with the child’s own feelings. “Say, ‘Man, it must be hard being 8 years old. What’s the hardest part?’” suggests Runkel. Then mention people your kid knows who are having a hard time – say, a friend whose dad lost his job. Ask what they think it’s like for that friend. “They won’t always have an answer, but they’re thinking about,” Runkel says.

6. Fights can be resolved

Unless one kid is dangling the other out a window, don’t say a word. “As soon as you become involved, they no longer care about a solution. They’ll only try drafting you to their side,” says child psychologist Anthony Wolf, Ph.D., the author of Mom, Jason’s Breathing on Me! The Solution to Sibling Bickering. If they pester you, say your solution will be bad for both of them. They’ll learn that pleading is fruitless. More important, they’ll learn quickly to compromise.

7. Independence is earned

When your kids ask to stay later at a friend’s house, ask what time would work for them. Then ask why. If you don’t hear a good answer, it’s okay to say no. If you do, try it, says Pennsylvania-based psychologist Janet Edgette, Psy.D. When parents give children freedom and responsibility, studies show, the children develop stronger morals more quickly.

8. Success requires focus

Maybe you don’t wish for a prodigy, but our competitive society suggests otherwise. That’s why so many kids have trouble focusing, says C. Andrew Ramsey, M.D., a psychiatry professor at Columbia University. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Celebrate improvement first. And explain the value of slow mastery. “Whether your kids love Tom Brady or Beyonce, let them know that these people succeeded because they mastered one skill,” says Dr. Ramsey. “Learn to go through one door and many others will open for you; try to go through five doors at once and you’ll go nowhere.”

After you have answered these questions within yourself, then take it one step further and ask, “What am I doing that is working or not working?” Debate it all.

Work with your mind to figure out the best possible direction for you – your self-direction. And then ambitiously pursue your own self-direction. Let the power of your own ambition take you where you want to go, to do what you want to do, to create the life you want to live!